I have a Dear Friend who, today, took an hour from a busy schedule, with many other people to look after and care for, to look after and care about me. I am not in a great place at the moment. Let's just say that. He listened to me rant and rave, curse and cry, admit wounded defeat and angrily speak defiance in the same breath. I have been living painful moments of near-breaking; my friend helped shoulder the load long enough for me to feel like I can stumble on a while longer. Helped me see that perhaps the near-breaking was more of a birth-giving than anything.
My Friend showed me grace today. This kind always catches me off guard: so rarely found, and so sorely needed. It was like finding ten bucks in your jeans pocket when your car is running on vapors and payday is a week away. I can keep going now. I came home thinking that maybe I'm not so far from redemption as I often feel; that, despite my ever-present hangups... there are those who stubbornly embrace me, and who will relentlessly care for me til I learn to embrace myself.
I am a mess-up, but I am a loved mess-up. This is hard to reconcile, hard to fully believe, but easy to find rest in.
With that, goodnight.
"there are those who stubbornly embrace me, and who will relentlessly care for me til I learn to embrace myself."
ResponderEliminarLOVED this. Glad you have stubborn friends. They are a necessary part of life!
Stacey... I must say you are incredibly eloquent and articulate when you are in a funk.
ResponderEliminarlol... Thanks Allison.
ResponderEliminar(This night I would have much rather been eloquent minus the funk, but sometimes we can only be exactly what we are... no pretending. This is a bit scary for me, but if you can't say it on a blog... where the heck can you say it??? heh heh). :)