So we're 88 days out (not that anyone is counting) and full-scale into preparations for the big day. I'm so pumped. The thought of being Justin's wife makes me grin ear to ear, and it's ridiculous, but I'll happily endure it. I keep on thinking that I couldn't be more sure about this, and then we go through a moment when he encourages me, or shows me grace when I'm stressed out, or simply makes me laugh til I have tears coming out of my eyes -- and amazingly, I'm even more convinced that this is everything I wanted and then some. I seriously didn't know it could be like this. I am fully myself, and fully loved.
I'm excited for the festivities, excited to make my vows to J (VERY excited for our honeymoon in Whistler!), but still -- a question looms large in the back of my head: "Does it really have to be this damn complicated?" Does the big day really have to be so big and daunting?
So... I'm kind of committed to running every detail of the wedding past these two questions as I'm making decisions.
1. Will anyone remember this the next day?
2. Will I remember this the next day? Or even care the next day?
If the answer to one or both of the above questions is "No" or "Doubtful"... then I've pretty much decided to not really give a rip (i.e. not stress about it and definitely not spend much moolah on it).
There are a few details I care about -- the dress, of course (which I got a KILLER deal on)... who my bridesmaids are, what music we'll use (not the Bridal Chorus or Canon in D, that's for sure)... that kind of stuff. But the rest... dude. A girl could make herself insane if she cared passionately about every single little detail. (Not to mention her poor groom).
Craigslist, craigslist, craigslist. Delegate, delegate, delegate.
I wish I could tell you that I've never gotten overwhelmed. I'd be a big fat liar. But I am committed to letting the focus remain where it needs to be: being a wife rather than on being the bride. The marriage, not the wedding. That's what matters, and throwing your party for any reason other than this is foolishness.
Less than three months. Day by day, we'll get there. Can't wait.
My wife and I wrote the music we used at our wedding. Probably a little bit much, but "because we wrote it" is such a better excuse not to use the other stuff than "because it's been overdone". I wrote the processional for a string quartet (played by her sisters and nieces) and she wrote the words to the song we sang each other in the middle of the service. Let me tell ya, not a dry eye in the house - except for me and Liz. It's funny, but I was so nervous I was shaking, until we got to the song, and when Mike put my guitar into my hands, I suddenly eased up and was fine. She said the same thing happened with the mic. Homegrown music is the best way to go if you can swing it. :)
ResponderEliminarYour subject is one I've been thinking about this week, especially since it was written on my 36th wedding anniversary. You said it very well-- think about being a wife, not a bride. I'm so sick of hearing about-- & attending-- weddings in which the couple has tried to CONTROL everything. Now days, couples even direct you to where you can buy a gift for them, by putting a reminder in the invitation! Can you hear me screaming? Whatever happened to thinking of your guests as just that-- GUESTS....who want to witness your vows and lovingly support you as you make them.
ResponderEliminarnew blog addy:
ResponderEliminarmwerntz.wordpress.com
is yours free, Myles? I need to downgrade. :)
ResponderEliminarit's true: it's free. just couldn't justify paying for it when i'm only posting a couple of times a week. that, and i like eating too much.
ResponderEliminarCongrats on getting engaged. Here are a few things I took away from my big day:
ResponderEliminar1. The wedding cermony is much more important than the reception. I poured my time into planning the cermony, every word that was said, just the right music, and how I could please God in the cermony. We also were a bit unique. When I think to my fav times I think of the cermony not the reception.
2. Enjoy the ride, don't get caught in the details. Everyone already gets too stressed over dumb things.
3. At the reception and the church, I went around and talked with everyone. There is nothing worse in my opinion than having your close friends at the wedding never see you or talk with you. You can have a balance of spending time with your new hubby and showing appreciation for the sacrifices people made just to come.
4. This comes from experience -- Remember your reservation papers for your honeymoon. Don't fly into a place and forget where you are staying and where you rented a car. Plus -- work on packing/shopping for the honeymoon at least a week before you leave. Other things will take up your time and you want to have everything ready. i.e. I had so many winter clothes I had to go shopping for lack of summer ones.
5. Don't go into debt for a wedding!! it's not worth it when you can have a great wedding and be thrifty. Plus, all that money you can put on a house downpayment!