garage-saling with the professionals

Team Lawlis drove home a few weekends ago, stayed with my folks, and caught up with friends for a few days.  Part of this revelry involved garage-saling with Chris.

This is Chris.  Note the classy use of my garter at our wedding.



Chris is forsaking us; is moving to glamorous California.  Apparently, we're not good enough in comparison to palm trees and sandy beaches and eating disorders.  So, to celebrate his impending demise departure, we decided to accompany him on his garage sale quest.

First thing you need to know: to Chris, if anything is worth doing, it had better be done in a suit.  Whether searching for reduced-price crap on someone's lawn, or a wife and career out on the side of the road, you need to look the part.



Justin and I were slummin' it -- we showed up in our usual civilian garb -- but Chris was not one to disappoint.  Suit and tie, kids.  Suit and tie.

A few snippets from our little adventure:

Chris, at our first stop: "How much for the lot?"

Man running garage sale: "What?"

Chris: "How much, for everything here?"

Man: "One thousand, nine hundred and ninety five dollars."

Chris: "I'll give you fifty cents."

At our next garage sale, my fine husband found a vampire cape which he purchased for $1US.  He proceeded to wear it to each garage sale that followed, which elicited strange looks at some sales, and open staring at others.

Justin and Chris were discussing a potential purchase at one house and the lady walked up to them, in vampire cape and three-piece suit, respectively, and said, "Hi there.  What's the occasion?" 

They looked at her as if that were the strangest question in the world.  "What occasion?" they asked.  "We're garage saling." 

She then felt awkward to have asked, mumbled a "Sorry," and returned to her lawn chair in the garage.  It was one of the more tangible awkward moments I've been able to enjoy in a while.  That, and when Chris asked at one house if they were selling pot.

Chris purchased a fan from the Philipines for fifty cents, not to keep, but to barter with at the next garage sale.  He pointed to an item, requested its price from its owner, and then had Justin ever-so-suavely pull the fan from the inner pocket of his suit and display it ever-so-tantalizingly.

(Justin has come in handy before.  Once he carried around a clipboard, jotting down notes for Chris as they were perusing.  Chris would point; Justin would say to the seller: "The gentleman would like to make you a very generous offer," write down fifty cents on a sheet of paper, fold it up, and hand it to the person.)

While we were saling, Chris also tried to garner a book of Shakespeare plays by delighting a garage-saling crowd with a dramatic reading: "Act One..."  I thought he did the Bard justice, but they insisted on him paying 38 cents for the book.

By the way, random thought, I think this T-shirt is brilliant.  With that, I leave you.  (There was pretty much no way to wrap up this random post, and I really do like the T-shirt.)